I'm Coming Out of My Cages

I love how God speaks to me through music lyrics. Lately, I've had the Smart Shuffle in Spotify on when I'm jamming out, which is all the time. A song popped up by a band called, We The Kingdom, that I had not heard before. The song is called, "Cages". Here are the lyrics:

What if I got real honest?
What if I took a risk?
What if I opened up my heart
And let you see in?
What if I took my mask off?
Trying to fit in
I don't wanna be a mannequin

"What if I opened my heart and let you see in? What if I took my mask off?" This is what caught my immediate attention. These are questions that I have been dealing with for years. Last fall, God healed me from 22 years of trauma, 7 years of depression, severe social anxiety, & panic attacks. He gave me a sound mind, something I thought would take YEARS of EMDR. (That's a whole other story.)

I've had to ask myself, what happens if I finally took the mask off? He's been so faithful in meeting me where I'm at. He's taken me on a journey of taking off masks and opening up, allowing others to see in. Last fall also saw Him breaking the orphan spirit off of me. Now, it's adventures in renewing my habits and mindset to reflect Him and the freedom He's given me.

What if I let my guard down?
What if I took a breath?
What if I wasn't perfect?
What if I was just a mess?
What if I bled my soul out
Givin' all I could give?
I'm so tired of pretending

"I'm so tired of pretending." Let's be honest. How many of us are tired of pretending, trying to hide our mess, mistakes and shame? How many of us long to let our guard down and find someone, anyone, who won't run away from the jumble of emotions and imperfections we struggle to hide every day? 

I've been asking myself, what would happen if I let people in? Yes, I could be hurt again. That's inevitable, because we're humans. Trying to tie my identity into a game of who likes me and who doesn't, do I fit or do I not, isn't conducive to HIS identity over me. It's my choice on what identity I hold true to. Will I hold tight to the identity He's given me, changed me, and called me to, simply because He loves me just that much? Or will I allow the enemy to insidiously whisper lies that I'm unlovable, not enough, too much, undeserving and not worth it?

At some point, we all get tired of pretending. It's what we choose to do after that rock bottom point that matters. 

I'm comin' out of my cages
I'm steppin' down from my stages
I'm sick and tired of faking it
What I wouldn't give to be known
What I wouldn't give to be known

Then, the chorus comes on and hits HARD. "I'm sick and tired of faking it. What I wouldn't give to be known." Isn't this the cry on our hearts? We ALL want to be known. We ALL want to be acknowledged, and ultimately, cherished. The problem is that we look to things, people, activities to fill the void of loneliness and longing in our lives. Though we all want to be known, no one wants to be vulnerable first. That's the true test of courage - am I going to allow myself to be vulnerable and open, knowing that there WILL be rejection (because again, we're all human)? BUT, and it's a BIG BUT, will I allow my Abba to fill the void and know me fully, rather than relying on things, people, activities to fulfill the lonely void? Will I allow my Abba to heal the broken pieces of my heart when rejection happens? Will I allow Him to change my mindset and heart, no longer accepting that rejection is my identity? How sick and tired am I of being lonely, and instead turn to the only One that can fill the void?

What if I got new armor?
What if I swung my sword?
What if I face my demons
Like I've never done before?
What if I hung my banner?
What if I chose a side?
What if I knew I couldn't lose this time?

"What if I swung my sword? What if I face my demons?....What if I hung my banner?....What if I knew I couldn't lose this time?" (Remember how I said earlier that He likes to speak to me through song lyrics? Welp, here we go!)

As this part was playing, I saw a vision of me holding this beautiful, flaming sword. As I walked and the enemy attacked, I picked up the sword in confidence and battled the enemy. I didn't feel fear or anxiety. I was literally walking calmly, an enemy would come, and I would wield my sword and strike it down. The enemy didn't get back up after the strike.

At the end of the battlefield, I turned around. The field/battle ground was littered with blackness all around. When I looked down, the enemy's bodies turned into words. Anger. Bitterness. Shame. Guilt. Fear. Death. Insecurity. Orphan. The things that I've battled with, working to renew my mind on, those old things were dead on the floor of the battlefield. 

I then looked down at myself, and I had this beautiful armor on. My whole being was literally glowing this blue fire, though I wasn't burning. I knew that I knew that I KNEW my confidence was in Him. There was a peace that settled over my heart, mind and body when I saw the dead things. You see, it was my choice whether I picked them back up again. It's my choice whether I choose to keep that identity or if I'm going to battle the lies of the enemy in order to be free.

As the vision disappeared, I then heard, "It's your choice. It's time." And then of course real life came back in. 😂

So, what are you going to choose? Will you allow the One who loves you most to know the real you? Will you be vulnerable enough to take the mask off and live life in community? What will it take for you to come out of the cages?

Songwriters: Andrew Bergthold, Franni Cash, Scott Mctyeire Cash, Edward Martin Cash, Edmond Martin Jr Cash, Kyle Reed Briskin. For non-commercial use only.